WISHES UPON A STAR

Alhamdullilah

Hiya! Hope you are all doing good.

Okay so one super good news is that I got an internship offer from EY !!! Alhamdullilah, can't believe it myself actually, and the fact that I will be doing the internship at EY is far than what I expected. After being rejected by PwC, to be honest, my confidence level has dropped really badly, I don't know why but maybe because I have put so so so much effort while applying for PwC and that was the first internship that I applied so that's why I think it hurts so much. But yeah, everything happens for a reason isn't? And now, I already see the hikmah behind the 'rejection' I got from PwC haha. Alhamdullilah.

I know, things will get harder ahead, but I will do my best! One thing for sure, just keep trying even though it is tough and hard okay? I have applied for more than 10 companies, and none of them reply to my application. It is a stressful matter tbh. But what I did was, just keep applying and following up with the companies so they know how much you wanted that positions. In the end, all the hard work paid off!

Stay positive okay ! xx

Adulting

It has been quite sometimes since the last post. And as usual, always crawling back here when something stuck in my mind but I just don't know how to tell people about that. Final is coming in two weeks. And obviously, as always, I'm way too far than being ready. You know every semester I keep telling myself, change sya, change. But hell no, the lazy me is still here.

Okay so lets talk about what's on my mind now.

First thing first, I miss mom. A lot. But nothing can be done with this problem, just have to wait until 8th June! I'm coming home Ma <3 Next is the internship thingy. This thing has messed up my mind for sooooooo long. I mean, I have started searching, making CV and what not since February if I'm not mistaken. and now its already April, no just a few more days to May. and I still haven't heard anything from any company. People keep telling I have to do the internship while some say it is okay not to intern. I am not even sure what I want right now. It is just that I want to spend time my summer break with mom, but at the same time internship is also important hmm future? Don't want to even start with that. Everything is so vague. One thing for sure, I just hate competition and high expectation. I don't want to be compared with others. Hate it so much. Can we just go with our own pace?

Almost nine years I am away from home and mom. I had enough. Gonna finish this degree (in shaa Allah successfully) and I just want to live with mom, pretty please :') Okay, I think that's all for this post. Continue with your revision please blegh! Anyway it is good to know someone is blogging again, welcome back love hehe <3 Take care all xo

Snowy Day

It's the most beautiful time of year !

Olla all. Alhamdullilah it was snowing just now ! I'm super glad mann. Have been waiting for this since the start of this week because (as far as I know) Sheffield Essex and Birmingham already snowwyyy So jealous, but not anymore hehe And I'm even more happy and thankful as it was snowing during daytime hee Thank you Allah <3

Time flies so fast. It is already December 9. It just feels like only yesterday I celebrated my birthday. Always had this kind of mixed feeling of wanting to finish all these studies and living in here and just go back to Malaysia and stay with mom real fast but at the same time, I just hate the feeling of ending the 'UK life'. Because I believe, there is no way I'm able to come back here once I graduate later. Unless I become super rich hahaha which is not the case I think ? Gonna miss living in here. Let's treasure our everyday life and end it with no regret in shaa Allah.

Anyway, the finals for semester one will start in a month. I'm freaking scared I swearrr. Got no confidence AT ALL for this final. Maybe I'm not that serious in studying I don't know T.T But nonetheless, gonna do my best no matter what because finally .... I have a mission to achieve !! In shaa Allah I'm planning to proceed with ACCA cert after getting the degree. Hmm I know it's not an easy task but let's just do our best and go with the flow! May Allah ease everything Amin. Ciou , S xo

It's that time of the year that I always waiting for. The day when I finally have 'reason' to talk to you. I miss you, I always do. If and only if I can say that. But let it just stay in my mind. It has been years but the regret remains there. Really hate it when I can't hate you hmm. That's it for now, till then.

Ramadhan 2017

So a week of blessed Ramadhan has passed. Done four paper, one more to go. Just a week away for home but it just feels so long to wait for the next Sunday. Problems after problems came.

Seriously I just want to get out from here. I wanna go home. I just wanna feel safe, safe like always. Since the Manchester Arena incident, Manchester turned to somewhere I don't feel like home. It became a place where helicopter & police sirens have become normal that I can't even recall how many times I heard in a day. So many people affected by this event and not to forget to the people who has lost their beloved ones. How can people be so mean? My heart always feels unease. The impacts are huge and affect every each of us. Stay strong Mancunians and may Allah protects us forever and always In shaa Allah.

8 days to go and I'm so done with all of this. Really hope that I can pass all the papers and do not have to resit any paper. In shaa Allah. I realised that I did not give my all for this exam (since when I did anyway ?) but just hoping for the best. Hmm. Last paper syndrome is haunting me right now. And to be honest, I never do the 'counting down to home' as serious as right now. It's not homesick, just that I don't want to stay here any longer.

19++ hours of fasting is not that bad actually. I mean, it is bearable especially in this special month of Ramadhan. Even though the hunger started quite early haha around 3 pm every day but I manage to bear with it. It was good though to have only around 4-5 hours to eat anything I want and fasting for the rest of the day. All thanks to The Almighty Allah <3 Alhamdullilah.

So yeah that's it for now. Stay safe & Salam Ramadhan xx

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I'm not asking much, just the reason.

Counting days

Relatable I guess?

Got annoyed super fast nowadays. Idk why duh. Keep saying 'don't care about it' but will always overthink in the end.

Home in few weeks YEAYYYYYY can't wait ! 32 days to be exact. But exam comes first lulz. Not ready (as always) and still haven't finish the revision. I'M DEAD.To get 60% average marks obviously not an easy job though.

Anyway, applied for the committee position for M.I.D but got rejected, too bad :( Gonna try harder in the future, there's always hikmah behind everything right ? Need to improve myself in every way ; confidence, interview skills and CV ! OMG ! only now I knew writing CV is hard meh. It was hard mainly because I got no achievement to show off haha. So Aisya, let's do this ! Dear self, please be more rajin okay ?

Ramadhan is comingggg . 19 hours plus of fasting is no joke ! But I know Allah will always protect His hamba especially during the fasting month. May Allah bless this very-weak-kind-of-people haha.

Should back to revision now. Till then xx, S.

March

MANCHESTER , 28 FEB 17.

Peace be upon you!

It was the last day of February when I could finallyyyyyy experience the REAL snow. Alhamdullilah :) It was so nice and fun , even I had to go to the 10 q.m class that day haha.

Apart from that, I am super grateful that my first-semester exam results were okay. Not that good and not so bad, it was just so-so. Gonna work harder for this upcoming final exams. Still keeping up with all the essayS (need to bold that 'S' out, though) and tutorials. March gonna be harder than ever. Three essays ??? Are you kidding me ?! But that doesn't stop me from enjoying my life (through Kdramas etc). It's me after all, what do you expect? HAHA.

Anyway, already bought the summer break flight ticket ! YEAYYYY. Can't wait seriously :D Around 3 months I guess? Hope everything will be just fine until then, In shaa Allah. That's it for now. Take care peeps xx

Grateful

Grateful. It's easy to say than to really feel or understand what is the true meaning of that magical word. Somehow I always feel that I never had enough. I mean everyone does feel the same like I do right ? We keep on saying like 'if and only if blablabla'. Somehow, I think that IFF word is turning us into a greedy kind of person. It's still fresh on my mind that once, I said if and only if I get straight A plus on my SPM examination. But I was (literally) shocked on the result day because I didn't even aim for a straight A's results meh. Haha. It just happened that I wanted more even after getting an unexpected result and it was more than enough really. What I'm trying to say is that, everything happens for a reason. Allah has planned every single thing perfectly fine for our life. Just imagine if I got straight A plus before, then my life now would be so different, not even close to where I am right now. Maybe I got the bursary, enrolled in Taylor's college (I don't know where else the bursary scholars went other than this college), got new friends there, and the saddest part I may not able to fly as the bursary is not being offered anymore :(( And just imagined that I will never get to know those Intec people is really terrifying. Where else I can find Jemahs ?? NO other place! I thank Allah for giving such a great best friends <3 So when I rethink about it all over again, our life journey has been planned beautifully by our Creator and it is just us who are always not being grateful. This is only one of zillions things that I did not appreciate and be grateful for it. Just pray that when our life hits the bottom, we can still be grateful as much as when we are at the top because that is the hardest part. May Allah ease xo

No it's not okay.

When we grew up, only then we realised how much we take things for granted. Only then we regret the chances we didn't take. I just hate getting flashbacks from things I don't want to remember. It hurts.

2017

It's been ageeeeees since the last time I posted here ! So glad that I decided to start blogging again. I don't know why but I just felt that way. Maybe because I just missed how I spend my high school and college years telling the story of my boring life in here. Knowing that no one will read it except me myself and I are the greatest feeling ever ! No one to judge, no one to care but just letting go everything I feel and keep all this while. Gituu.

And yeah , here I am in my dream country since forever ...... UK ! Alhamdullilah it was a lifelong dream came true. Can't be grateful enough for the fact that I am here in UK. Alhamdullilah , thank you Allah. Arrived here was like 4 months ago and now already 2017. Gosh how time flies. Obviously there are a lot of people left, but not to forget for those who stay. You guys are da bomb !!

Got a lot of things going on my mind right now (literally) and one of it is that HOW DID I SURVIVED UNTIL NOW ?? Mysterious question ever. From the start ( I mean during SPM examination), I just felt it was so hard like super duper hard. Can you imagine like how did I studied NINE subjects at the same time ? Not to forget all those positions I hold and a lot of extra activities/sports/events I involved at that time. And still I managed to do my best. Then there was what we called 'college' life (lah sangat). A-level mehh. No jokes. It was double triple hard. And the funniest thing was that, the common sayings I heard was;

"Lek, degree life would be much better (which I assumed better in terms of easier in studying and all) than Alevel) "

"You survive Alevel, for sure you'll survive Degree"

"Don't worry lah, JPA will not tendang punya ( confirm lepas as in 'lulus' I guess? )

And here I am, struglling so hard. DEGREE IS HARD WEHH. Oh forgot to tell that I am preparing for my very first Final Exam now and yet what am I doing right now ? This shows the level of stress I'm on right now blegh. Can't wait to finish this hell exam month and watch all the dramas weeee. Never knew it was this hard to be away from your best friends and family ofc. So yeah, keep moving on Aisya ! You can do this Fighting In shaa Allah <3 Assalamualaikum peeps xo

Yeah its youu !

Finally you found it ! Hahaha lap youu xx

Thinking out loud

One month already. Time flies so fast duhh. Hmm study hmm not so good not so bad. But im not satisfied with my very first accounting quiz. Not sure is it i am the only one who felt that it was quite hard especially for a quiz ! Not even test or exam kot aigoo . Getting better with the new surrounding , much better with my babes in the same class ^.^

Just thinking about the AS exam make me wanna cry :'(( And all the test and final examinations that I have to go through before the Trial and the real exam. Ya Allah please ease my way. In shaa Allah.

2016 , United Kingdom . Look like it was easy before I entered Intec. Buttt the reality is totally different. Knowing that friends from korean program are going to fly less in a month time makes me happy sad and cuak at the same time. They just finished their last paper today. And I heard in shaa Allah everyone managed to fly to korea. And me here in Alevel urghhh nothing duhh . We are not even sure about our future . I mean anyone can ditendang by intec ohyemgeeee seriously cant imagine bout it :((

Should stop overthinking. Live well guys ! Assalamualaikum xx

Never give up

Spending the first weekend of any sem is never a fun one haha with nothing to do no homework no money no berjimba durr.

Even it was only a week so many bad things happened like seriously can't I live happily and don't have to care about anything? Life is sure great without a care isn't it. Looking at those people did the things they said they will never did is the worst feeling ever. Trying not to care bout them but whatever it is they are still my friends . Hoping that I will never be one of that kind of people. Because I know that it is easier to say rather than to go through the situation. So it is a note to self too .

Please , seriously please do remind me to go back to the right path if I were to drift away from it.

Worrying about something will never change a thing but trust in Allah changes everything. -Z

Fresh new start xx

Bismillah , a new sem just started. New aims and in shaa Allah better results. Even though today is not a great first day that I expected to have as most of my sedbergh members are in the other classes. We are no longer sedbergh. I am no longer Sedbergh. Now I am Saltashian acehh haha. It is sure hard to get along with new people but I am surely know that everything would be just fine as we are a family kan ? No matter lah what class are you in , our aim is still the same . United Kingdom , 2016. May Allah bless our journey. But the worst thing was to not have my polar bear in the same class. Huh . To the positive side,sarah nadh zethy is in the same class weeee and dewi too. Alhamdullilah. New lecturers is something that bothered and scared me. Afraid that I can't get along with their style but it's totally depends on me to deal with it and study smart. Just hoping for the best ! Lots of love ,S xx

New page .

Assalamualaikum peeps :)

1st January 2015.

A new start.

2014 , too many things had happened in just 365 days. Things changed , people changed , people came and people left. Zillion thanks for those who stayed, and not to forget for those who left at least the memories last forever. Of good and bad things that happened, I've learned so many things. Not to trust anyone too much , not to love anyone too much, 'too much' itself is never a good thing tho . Except for the love to our Creator. And not to lose hope because of silly things. 2014 had been a tough year for me, and the whole Malaysians. One after another incidents happened. All the crisis sure have its own reasons behind that. Not to forget that its the hints to all of us from Allah. Sometimes when I felt so down and got a mental breakdown, I will just think about those who are suffering much more than me . I mean what dehel that I have to be so sad just because something is not going well as I wished it to be ? Who am I to be so 'not grateful' ? Just looking at the flood victims , its really broke my heart into pieces. When the victims went back home after the flood, and look at their hometown , there is nothing. They have to start their life all over again from zero. Almost every thing ruined. Yet they are still strong to face all that. So what is the reason for us to be sad and breakdown over something that is not even a big deal. This is a note to myself. Stay strong ! Looking forward for a better days coming for 2015. Lets be a better muslimah In shaa Allah . Take care guys and Happy New Year ! Assalamualaikum xx

Give me the strength.

Why is it hurts to see someone else happiness ? I don't wanna feel this way . And of course I know that its wrong . But what that person did is too much . Too much to handle. I always hope that , that person will be happy but then why am I the one who is suffering ? Why me ? I should be happy too right ? Why you came into my life when you were planning to leave me the next day ? Why it hurts so much ? For you , I was a chapter but for me you were the book. Please lah . Get out of my mind .

I'm afraid to listen to this , I won't leave you. Because at the end of the day , they did things they said they will never did.

In Shaa Allah

It's raining heavily all day long almost every day right now . Pheww but Alhamdullilah its not causing flood yet in my housing area. Feeling bad to know that Kelantan and Terengganu are now struggling their life with floods. With the latest news , one year old baby is suspected to be drowning in the flood while her mother trying to save her other two sons that almost drowning at that moment. Haih I don't know what to say , just praying that everything will be fine for them. Stay strong everyone !

Olla !

Yesterday I just finished watching the Sahabat drama series. Well for me , it is one of the best malay drama that I ever watched. They got a good storyline , I mean it showed many good points to the audience. Like how a real friendship is . Hmm sounds cliché isn't it ? But seriously there's a big difference between guys and girls friendships . Like how Bak and Shaq get along together in just a simple scene. But for girls I'm sure that it will takes time or even years or forever just for girls to get back together as friends/bestfriends. ( you know why ? See up there , the second pic. That's the reason why. It's easier to forgive an enemy than a friend .) Don't you agree ? Even though the drama is not that gempak as the other malay dramas but it's worth watching it. Great actors and actresses , great plots and of course great friendship ! Sahabat never fails to make me smile and laugh at their scenes. The last scene was a bit heartbreaking , when Shaq tried to confess his feeling to Alia and end things up at that moments but he just couldn't express it. Oh my , so sad haha what ever it is , that is the last time I can watch Syarif Sleeq acting huwaaaa . Need more dramas with this guy in it , He's a great actor anyway !!

Till forever

Back then in 2010 was my very first post of this blog. When I reread all the posts that posted before , it was super duper funny yet sad and terrifying moment for me. How immature i am at that time. How I let all my anger in here. How I spread my happiness in here. How I told my beloved ones that I love them ((or hate them !)) and above all that , how all the people that I've mentioned in this blog before changed. And ofc how me , myself changed. It's only around five years gap from the first post till now but I felt that every single thing have changed. Few stay, most of them left. Whatever it is , hope that everyone has a good life right now and I do treasure all the good and bad memories that I've been through before :) Thanks to them I know how to stay alive haha Be happy guys !

" Sometimes you miss the memories not the person "

Lots of love , S .